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every chord still seems a wonder
how we could be together
everytime i ask if this would be the last
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do i get out of this
i think~ i never will
i never will....
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Just want to give my dear, a warm hug and wish her Happy Birthday! Have a safe journey as you go for your placement and thank you for your love for this one year. Though I cant be there physically to celebrate it with you, just remember that I am always with you in mind and in spirit.
Will be waiting for the day to come when we both can celebrate our birthdays with each other. I love you and never will I trade anything for your love.
Happy Birthday and I miss you!
Thursday, September 23, 2004
A leader; What does it really mean to be one?
Picking up my timetable, I saw the module, “Leadership and Team Building (LTB)”. The first thoughts to mind; can they be taught in a class environment? Instead of being critical, I decided to attend the class with an open-mind.
As I sat through the class, I kept asking myself, “Do I want to be a leader?” “Is it that important to be a leader?” Even now, I still don’t have that answer but what I do know one thing and that is why I’m taking this module; to find out what it really means to be a leader.
A leader is by no means a leader only by name. All of us are leaders in our own ways. We have the charismatic, action centered and transformational leaders just to name a few. Often we fail to realise that although they are leaders in their own right, it’s still objective. A leader to someone may not be seen as one to another. Personally, I do not consider a charismatic leader as one. A person who uses his charm is definitely not one that I would proud of. To me, it’s manipulative. However, not many share this sentiment. To others, his ability to garner support in times of depression even if he may not be right is incontrovertible.
So what exactly is a leader? Can we accurately define a leader? Many have tried but unfortunately all failed to correctly pinpoint the exact meaning of one. No, even I myself do not have this uncanny ability to correctly define a word so vague. Looking through the supplement readings and textbooks, a leader is inferred as one who guides, direct operations, bring some conclusion and to be the first to do something. However we can be sure that all of them do cognize that a leader is one who influences; whether it is for a good cause or not, that is debatable.
As I left the class in week 2, I appalled that so much attention was being paid into becoming a leader. Yes, I do not negate the purpose of it but is it that important that all of us have to be leader? From the lesson, it seems to insinuate that all of us have to a leader. If you can’t be a leader, you are deemed a failure. These questions were like a splinter at the back of my head, prickling and beleaguering me for the next few weeks.
So much emphasis seems to be placed on being a leader that a follower role would be frowned upon. In our haste to become a leader, we fail to realise that there is no need for a leader if there were no followers. There would be no one for one to lead and guide if there isn’t even a person for one to do. That was what I felt lacking in my group. In their anxiety to lead, they neglected that leaders do not necessary meant being in the spotlight all the time. Sometimes, we have to take a step backwards and be a follower. After all, to be a leader is to follow. As the saying goes, “To lead, you must learn to follow.” What a paradox but true. One can’t deny the importance of being a follower. Before a person can be recognized as a leader, he needs a team to support him, a team to rally round when the chips are down.
Leaving the class, I felt disappointed that this concern wasnt addressed in the lessons so far.
I struggled my way through the LTB classes till yesterday. Well, to be honest, if this journal was not pushed back till Friday, I would have submitted the above and surely the professor and TAs might have felt unjustified. My concerns were finally addressed; to be a leader, you would have to learn to serve. Humility is the word. Only when you learn to a good follower, can you be a good leader. We went through 5 types of followers namely, a passive follower, a conformist follower, a pragmatic follower, an alienated follower and last but not least, an effective follower. The professor also highlighted that at times there must be a need to take a step back especially in areas when we are not adequate. Stepping back does not mean being a lousy leader. It just reminds us that we are humans and we are imperfect creatures. We can never know everything but what differs from one being a leader than another is his ability to adapt and learn fast. Great! A timely lesson considering my initial journal was drafted before this lesson. It just doesn’t cease to remind me what it really means to be a leader. To those around me, a leader just means leading on the forefront and maintaining control but is it all? Is it just so simple? From my experience, it means so much more. I was blessed to be placed in leadership roles and I was able to learn so much more than what textbooks and ordinary lessons could teach me. From being a prefect and platoon commander in secondary school, an orientation leader, mentor and Dinner and Dance chairman during my polytechnic days, camp commandant in church to a commander in the army, a leader is by no means an easy feet. Even as I began to explain myself during the TA debrief in class, I was sadden that it was taken as a pinch of salt by some and even more so when I noticed some murmurs by some. Attribute it to plain ignorance or arrogance, I do not know but they were from experiences that I could never stress enough. Walking away after class, I was glad that my concerns were addressed but something lingered on…. What does it really mean to be a leader?
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